A vulnerable memoir about living with loss, even before that loss occurs, Love, Life, Grief and Joy by Donna Jean Fletcher is a stirring and passionately penned account of resilience and relentless faith. This expanded version of an earlier memoir delves deep into the author’s struggles and strategies before and after the loss of her beloved partner and fellow pastor to cancer. Cathartic for those readers who might painfully relate, and instructive for all who will face grief in the future, this deeply personal and compassionate read will linger in the heart far past the final page. – Editor, SelfPublishReview 4.5 star rating
Author Donna Jean Fletcher-Everitt and her late husband, Garry… were Salvation Army assistant pastors. Garry fell ill in March 1995, suffering from a fever, accompanied by chills and sweating. He weakened and lost weight in the months to come; in October, a lymph-node biopsy revealed cancer, and by the following May, doctors concluded that chemotherapy wasn’t working and nothing else could be done. Fletcher-Everitt astutely notes that her mourning had already started by that point: “the grieving process begins during terminal illnesses. It doesn’t wait until after the person dies.” She and Garry returned to their Kansas hometown from Michigan, and he entered hospice care. Even in his weakened state, he insisted on planning everything, including memorial funds, his obituary, and gifts for each family member. The memoir includes just the right details to convey what the author was going through, ranging from the awful (10 trash bags full of bloodied diapers) to the surreal (Garry recorded a message to be played at his funeral that started “Hi, Donna”). Excerpts from family newsletter, and what appears to be a journal she kept at the time, are presented in a different typeface. The author’s account of the months after the funeral appropriately feels quite scattered, relying heavily on prayers and diary entries. The events of the next decade and more, however, are presented to selectively; in particular, the memoir is vague about the author’s dating experiences and a broken engagement. It also divulges next to nothing about the author’s second marriage. The last quarter of the book provides a rushed tour through other losses, including the deaths of her father and one of her daughters. Readers may find that the subtitle’s promised joy is rather hard to find amid the bereavement, although she does express gratitude for the blessings-a husband, many grandchildren, a new puppy-in a final prayer. (Includes black-and-white family photographs.) A tragic but vividly detailed narrative. – Kirkus Reviews